How many Times?

that's the question of the Day.. how many times? How many stupid mistakes, and how many failings, and how many stupid choices  is too many?

We are to turn away, repent, and run away from those stupid bad choices, fall to our knees, and look to You!

What part of this is so complicated? Why do I continue to make stupid choices? Am I never going to learn? Is it that I am too far gone in my own greedy selfish pettiness, that I feel I can do it better than the Almighty?

  No, that's not it. I know that, that is not the answer.

Oh! I know, it is the act of giving myself fully to You! I know that I have to put up the Spiritual White flag of surrender.

Not just today, but everyday.

All day, every moment. I need to stop listening to that rebellious inner voice and say,"Enough!" I am not doing it your way (mine).. I need to stop listening to the voice of rebellion, and walk boldly to the throne of Grace, and say:

"L-rd, help me, the sinner, saved by Your grace... I need You Father, to strengthen me, yet again"

Falling down is easy, if I allow it, and worse yet, it becomes fun, in a sick kind of way, if allowed to linger without going to my Father, every time I hear the voice.

Yesterday, I found out that the mini stroke I had back in July 2003, has begun to short circuit things in my brain, almost 5 years later. My memory of things are fritzing out, and to keep me alive, I need to get with the program and quick! I am having aftershocks so to speak, mini like seizures, causing me to black out, pass out, and bits of memory are escaping me.

Do You know how scary that is? It is very scary, but I have Jesus, and I know deep inside me, I will never forget Him.................or, will I?

That is a real scary thought, to be in these times, and this age, thinking I might forget Jesus. I know He won't forget me. Not ever.

What to do now?

Changes. Beginning now, I need to make changes, health wise, spiritual wise, stop wasting time, get out in the real world, and speak the L-rd's words, to try to bring hope back into this ugly world.

I haven't said this boldly enough.

I ask forgiveness from everyone I have ever met, and say this now:

Jesus Loves You. He wants to reside in your heart and soul, and He wants you free from the life you now live.

Come, meet Jesus, and love Him. Why, you ask? Because He loves you, just the way you are, and He wants to bring you into His peace, His joy, and into the family of God, our family, to live eternally in Heaven, to erase all the tears of this life, and take you on the Journey of a lifetime.

Jesus Loves You.

In His Love,

Grasshopper

written 06/10/08